Wednesday, 9 May 2012

Knickers on The Ceiling Fan and All That Jazz

When you live in a country you have to take the rough with the smooth and that includes what goes on in the community not just what is going on in your life.
Some of my UAE memories could be frowned upon, but I believe in revealing the rough and the smooth .

Today my memory bank opens up about "Hookers". And Hookers were one of the reasons I stopped going to Kalba for the weekend.

Anyone who lives in UAE today knows there is a serious Hooker problem. (Hooker, Prostitute or whatever you want to call those girls (or men) of ill repute). Despite what some would call my quite glam lifestyle up until the last year I was there, I did get to witness quite a bit of the seediness that goes on. I will try to write this post as humorous as I can.

My first encounter was about the 4th day I was in UAE. "O" used to drop me each day down at the Chicago Beach Hotel so I could laze all day on the private almost deserted sandy beaches, dine in the restaurant there until I had had enough then I used to have the driver pick me up and drop me home to get ready for the evening.
I was lying on this deserted beach, soaking up the sun in my one piece Marks and Spencer swimsuit when suddenly this toned, bronzed man in a pair of Budgie Smugglers (tight skimpy swim briefs) walked out of the sea and walked towards me. "In an obvious arabic accent he purred at me "Hi Habibi, do you have a light?", as I rummaged in my bag and pulled out my lighter he said "and a cigarette too". He then said "Hayati I can do such special thing to you, make you tingle, special price for you Habibi 200 dirhams, you never forget experience at bargain price" I about fell off the sun lounger, what the heck, this guy had just emerged from the sea like a sea monster and was now trying to get me to pay him 200 dirhams to make me tingle. This was an Islamic country, what the heck was this guy playing at.

I gave him some choice words and got up and moved further along the beach to another sun lounger. (in those days the beaches were virtually deserted). I sat there eyes hidden behind my Gucci's but actually watching him out of the corner of my eye as he sauntered along the beach chest puffed out, hips wiggling, and trying to seductivly puff on the cigarette I had just given him. I saw him spot two very overweight women who I had seen in the changing rooms/showers earlier on in the day and who I knew to be German. He plonked himself down next to these two women and I saw him beging to stroke the larger of the two's leg, next thing I knew he was helping her up off the sun lounger and they dissapeared into the hotel so I guessed he had found a customer and probably when he finished with her, he came back for her friend.

I did not stick around to find out, I was quite horrified to be honest and as I walked back into the hotel I launched myself at the first member of staff I saw and told them what happened.
It did not seem to suprise the staff member and all he said was "Oh they swim over from the public beach, difficult to catch them".

When I saw "O" that night even he was shocked when I told him, he told me maybe I was confused and maybe the guy was trying to sell me something (well he was, but it definatly was not a watch, handbag or couple of coconuts).

My second encounter quite shocked me, infact I think my mouth hung open and my eyes were on stalks because I just could not believe what I was seeing. I had not long arrived in UAE and we were spending the evening at our friends luxurious apartment on Al Maktoum street (he did not live there it was just a place to play darts, cook and spend an evening with friends (or so I thought). I was sitting chatting with a couple of friends about something going on in Dubai when the doorbell rang. The houseboy answered it and in walked 4 tall women completely covered from head to toe (abaya, shayla and niqab). I got quite excited thinking these were probably quite respectable women and that it would be fun to talk to them and get an idea of their mentality. Oh Boy was I in for a suprise. One sat opposite me still with her abaya and niqab on when she suddenly opened up her abaya and sat there in a very unlady like position (lets just say she looked as though she was doing the splits) and it was obvious she had very little on let alone any underwear. She then began cooing over one of our friends as I tried to find another place to look but by then her 3 friends had stripped off the abaya's revealing what could only be classed as probably the skimpiest outfit sold in Victoria Secrets and they began to gyrate like they were performing at a strip club. I was HORRIFIED. I hissed at O what the heck was going on and to get me the hell out of there and he told me the girls flew over from Bahrain for shopping etc but made some pocket money on the side (I am guessing from their form of entertainment which involved a lot more than gyrating on a persian rug). When one of the old boys dissapeared into one of the bedrooms with one of the girls, O agreed to take me home. I think we argued on the drive home as I was so disgusted and I made him promise that if his friends ever arranged for these women to come over when O planned to take me there, that it was best I stayed home alone, just incase anyone thought I was of their type. O later told me these girls were Bahraini and that really suprised me. O did not agree with his friends playing around with what he called "Those rubbish ladies" especially so as most of the guys held respectable positions in society, but they were still his friends and it was not his place to tell them to stop. But whenever we went to our friends for dinner etc I spent the whole time on edge everytime the doorbell went, thinking some tarts were about to arrive for the evenings

I never really noticed the East European Hookers in UAE until around 1993, I noticed my first one in Burjuman following a local guy around and she was trying to walk beside him and quite loudly wispering ("you not wanna giva me 100, then giva me 50 and I do special job, come habibi have heart"). I at first thought she was his wife and begging for more pocket money or something, then it dawned on me what she was actually doing. They never really bothered me at first as I never came across any thankfully in my social life, despite many of O's friends enjoying the company of ladies of the night. However they did start to creep into our tight knit circle and I hated it.

As I mentioned in my last post, we spent every weekend in Kalba and it was so much fun. Some of the hangers on that followed us to Kalba from other Emirates were a bit dubious and one of them started turning up with in a 4X4 full of East European girls. It was obvious what he had brought them to the farms for and I really disliked it because I was highly respected and everyone thought of me as their sister but when these girls arrived it made me feel very uncomfortable especially when anyone new visited the farms because some assumed I was in the same line of business as these girls. Of course from the start any new people were totally put in their place if they even so much as tried to approach me in an undignified manner but I still hated even sitting in the same majlis as these women, so O and I and a couple of our other friends used to make a point of going out for long drives just to be away from them. I remember once we had gone out to the Fujeriah Hilton for the evening and when we arrived back we walked into the main majlis of O's cousins farm (where we were staying that weekend) and there were 4 bleached blonde hookers. As I walked into the majlis everyone stood up for me, those closest to me kissed he top of my head as they would there own sister or child, the others nodded their head at me. As I sat down I heared one of the hookers loudly say to the idiot who brought them to the farm "Who is this Bitch, why is she here, why they stand for her and not me, maybe she charge a lot". Well I just turned and flipped on this chick and told her the snot in my nose had more class than she did, I did not need to flap my flaps at men to make money, I earnt it the right and legal way and the reason people stood up for me was because my reputation was spotless.

The weekend that really ended my weekends in Kalba was the weekend this hanger on turned up with 2 of the roughest looking females I had ever seen. If they were cats then they were of the standard of the UAE street cats.
As usual he brought the girls when most of the guests were fully tanked up on Johnny Walker Red Label, Im guessing because he knew the mens vision was blurred through booze and they would not realise these girls had done the rounds a bit and looked like a couple of un-neutered Ally Cats.
My best friend Fay and her Emirati husband (they were not married at that time though) were spending the weekend on the farm with us. Fay is blonde so she was disgusted that she would be sharing a farm with these women as she knew anyone who did not know her would assume she was one too.

Fay and I escaped out of the majlis that evening and headed to the farm pool, putting some music on and making sure her husband and O made it clear to everyone that they were not to go anywhere near us. After a long swim, lots of laughs and chatting we went back to the farm Majlis and there was one of the hookers who had taken over the master suite, servicing one after the other of the visitors who were arriving by the dozen. We sat and watched one after the other dissapear into the bedroom obviously getting a full service and as one came out the next went in (we counted 9 men in the space of a couple of hours or so).
Well Fay is not one to mince words and I believe we both loudly screamed at everyone what a dirty bunch of sad men they were, how disgusting they were to do that to a women who was also doing that to their friends, one after the other without even having a wash inbetween. How they should be totally ashamed when they returned to their wives and children on Friday and suggested they all go get some tests done asap.
From that moment on I told O that although this was out of his control, I could not longer spend my weekends worrying these hooker were going to arrive and could not accept to even be in the same room as them. I could not sit back and witness what I had witnessed that particular night, men who held good positions, married men with kids, ramming away at some Ally Cat hooker.

In the morning Fay and I woke early and went for a drive. When we arrived back there were the Ally Cats looking rougher than before sitting crossed legged eating eggs obviously not wearing underwear. Fay dissapeared into the section of the farm where all the bedrooms were and then came back and told me to follow her. She led me into the bedroom where all the action had taken place and then into the en-suite bathroom and then burst out laughing as she pointed to something hanging on the towel rail. There hanging in all there glory was a huge pair of granny knickers with the most disgusting crotch I had ever seen. It was a mixture of greenish brown, it literally was a crust. We knew who they belonged to so Fay got a broom and hooked these monster knickers on the end of the broom and we walked into the Majlis in front of everyone and flicked them up onto the ceiling fan. There was everyone looking up as these nasty knickers were slowly going round and round. I then turned to the women who had been entertaining the night before and said "I thought your knickers could do with some air".

So that was our last real weekend in Kalba, we only went back occasionally when it was made obvious to all the hangers on they were not welcome. I think one of the last times we went back was the weekend of October 1999 when Fay and I converted to Islam in fujeriah sharia court.

I understand that some of the women who come to UAE and ply their trade are forced to and I feel sorry for them but many many women chose to come. Some may argue that these women are poor and need the money, but there are millions of terribly poor people around the world who live without flapping their flaps for a buck or too. Call me judgemental, I dont mind, but my blog is to share memories, both good and bad and although some may say this kind of thing does not happen I can assure you 100% it did and probably still does.


Anonymous said...

Im sorry i can not help but think that you were just in the same position as those and the same level as them with the only difference that you gave exclusive service to O , and i say this because i am sure he was sponsoring uou and your glammy life and pay your bills , house , cloths , etc. so is just matter of geography, when the man was married with family and would never leave them for you or even take you as a wife cause i am sure you were not worth the price he would pay for doing that , well in any case he got everything he wanted without having to do so , so there you go! ... Don't fool yourself thinking the rest if the man respected you, they All knew who you were and what you were and took you for exactly that otherwise they would never do such things in your presence or uou would say they eould fo that if one of their lawfull emiratis wives would be there? .... So please next time do bot talk low of others when you do nit have the moral authority to fo so , if now you have changed good for you but back then you were not better or different than them, and it pisses me off when you di not even realize it! .... By the way if you write a book call it fir what it is " memoirs of a exclusive hooker" or do

Anonymous said...

Dear Louise, I just wanted to write a quick note to say I love reading your blog!! Your honesty is so refreshing and makes it all the more interesting to read. I have lived in Dubai for just over 6 years now and like you most of my friends are Emirati which means I have got to experience many things about the culture, people and country which my other expat friends have not. Some of your stories remind me of similar things I have seen, but its nice to hear your opinions. My father is from Iran and my mother from England but my father has a house in Brighton so I visit him there when I have time, and I read that you live there also! Take care and keep writing xx

Louise said...

Thank you
Brighton is my home town, I love it so much.
I am so glad you are getting the chance to experience what I like to call the real UAE life. Not many expats get that chance. Enjoy it, I still miss UAE dreadfully.

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