Monday, 14 May 2012

Again in reply to anon

To clarify a number of judgemental issues raised in a second comment regarding my hooker post from the same person who likes to be anon who I left a post for in answer to her first comment. I was always taught to defend myself, infact answering these comments actually lets people who read my blog know a little more about me. I always have been an open person and as I said before I have nothing to ever be ashamed about. But I need to answer the comment because it insults the memory of O and everything he stood for and that upsets me.

I did not come to UAE way back in early1990 to grab a rich man. Infact I first met O 3 years prior to coming out to the UAE when I was working and I continued to work and finance myself until I came out to UAE 3 years later. O was based in the UK during that time and he knew how much I was facinated with the arab culture and had been since a small child.

When he left early 1990's he asked me to come with him to see if I liked living in a Middle Eastern country so I did and that is how my life began in UAE. You may presume our relationship was a dirty little affair and I am no better than a hooker, but in our culture boyfriend/girlfriend scenario can not be compared to what Hookers do. Most foreign wives married to Emirati's started out their relationship as  boyfriend/girlfriend, so are you saying anyone who married after having a relationship first is the same as a hooker? In my culture this is an insult to compare the two.

And as I said before not every relationship/friendship involves sex. There are many ways to love and support someone even when your not married.
O was a very sick man, many times in the UK I had to rush to the hospital because he was seriously ill and sit by his bedside until one of his family could come over. This continued in UAE, for the first 4 years he was rushed to hospital at least once every 3 or 4 months, so if you would like to presume my relationship was full of lust/sex, then think again. One of his issues was a form of epilepsy and I knew when he was about to have a seizure, infact he had quite a few while I was driving him somewhere and it was horrible but I knew what to do to help him until we got to a hospital and thats one of the reasons outside of the home and work he liked me near him. I could tell he was going to have one at least 5 minutes before it started because his face would change.

In regards to the businesses, he already had a business (he had it for years) that was going down the drain because of terrible staff management so he asked me to take over it. I moved its location, changed the staff added the beauty part to it, painted the whole damn centre myself (yes up ladders with paint and a roller, it took me 12 hours a day for a week), I drilled the holes for the blinds and curtains, fixed the mirrors and shelving on the walls myself (to save paying someone to do it). Negotiated payment plans with the equipment companies and I did that all myself. I ran the business and worked in it every day, the profit paid off the equipment in 6 months so I guess you could say I also financed this business because A) I saved him a ton of money doing all the work myself and B) I worked in the business, was good at what I did and I earned the money to pay everything for the business incuding my staffs salary.

The restaurant he bought himself, it was not something I was interested in and neither did I want but he made me a partner and I had to run it after the beauty centre was closed in the eveing and often at weekends too, I also managed everything about the staff, ordered the stock, did the accounts and PR, even drove the staff too and from work, so in reality it was me that did everything and me that made the money to pay the bills. It was not an easy ride let me tell you, I worked damn hard. When we sold the businesses I did not take one single penny from the sale and those that know me in UAE can vouch for that fact despite having worked hard for a number of years
My graphic design business was 100% mine, financed by me (very small finance was needed, just a computer to be honest, yet I made excellant money).

So if you like to presume I was out for all I could get then thats your choice. If  I was that type of woman then I would have sat back on my backside ordering staff about and going shopping on the profits rather than plouging them back into the business to make it even more profitable and continuing working very hard.

O was my bestfriend, my family, my soulmate, we enjoyed each others company, he loved the fact he could talk for hours about the old UAE days, about the history of his family and that I was happy to just drive into the desert and sit listening to very old khaleeji music while we discussed UAE political issues, problems with friends and family. He loved the fact I was not a self centred woman only interested in money, going shopping and material things. That I always put myself out to help people when he asked me to even his own wife and children. My relationship was something you could never understand and you insult me and his memory in your judgemental and very very wrongly assumed comments because it was so far from what you suggest. When I converted to Islam in 1999 I stopped going out alone with him and doing the things we used to do such as going for dinner with friends, camping in the desert and me just driving him around talking and I know that upset him but he understood that as a muslim now It was not acceptable.
He has been dead 6 years this year, and I still miss him dreadfully and I always will and I know he loved me right up until the day he died because I was one of the only people in his life that really understood him.

This will be my last post on this matter.

1 comments:

Coral Crue said...

I am sorry to hear you have lost your best friend. I can't imagine and I don't want to know what that feels like :( it's upsetting to lose someone so close.

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Louise
Brighton, East Sussex, United Kingdom
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