Wednesday, 26 January 2011

My Daughter

I suffer domestic violence from my 7 year old daughter.
Its a hard thing to admit, but my daughter beats me on a regular basis. Just this weekend, she punched me in the side of my forehead like a man. The punch was so hard it left a lump and bruise as well as scratching my face and ripping my hands to shreds all because I made her come home from playing outside at 4pm when it was about to get dark.

She has been violent for over a year now, not only violence but she also smashes up the house, picking up dining chairs and throwing them across the room. She uses the most disgusting language, spits and is just totally hateful, to ME only.

We have no idea what is causing her to get so angry and lash out so violently. Looking back since she was a toddler and how she is now, she ticks all the boxes for two mental health disorders.
1) Oppositional defiant disorder
2) Pathalogical demand avoidance syndrome
She fits the second one to a "T" including obsessiveness and all the other things that match the symptoms of the syndrome.

She is getting 3 referals, one to a development center where they will aim to get to the bottom of her violence and try to diagnose if she does have the 2 above or something else, such as a hormonal inbalance etc.

On top of all that my daughter may possibly have Gender Dysphoria (AKA Gender Identity Disorder).
For the past 3 years my daughter has wanted to be a boy, she dresses like a boy, refuses to wear girls clothes, has her hair short since last summer and has cut it herself when it grows (we have had to hide all scissors etc). She tells people she is a boy, cries sometimes in the bath begging me not to let her get breasts when she is older otherwise she will cut them off. Tells me all the time she is going to grow a penis when she is older, talks to me about sex change (we have no idea how she even knows about this), gets angry with me because she blames me for making her a girl. It is all so very very sad.
She is now being referred to a famous clinic in London called Tavistock Gender Clinic which deals with children who have Gender Identity confusion, hopefully they can find out whether she actually is mentally a male but physically female, whether something triggered her mentally to despise being a girl (possible, because this all began after I last took her to Zurich to visit her skank of a father, who despite not seeing her for 2 years spent all his time playing with his new son).
The medical person I spoke to yesterday who is putting forward all the referals for my daughter, says one of the reasons Imane may be so violent to me is because of her gender confusion, as though she hates me and blames me for giving her a female body.

As a muslim I worry about my daughter, the gender issue is something I just dont know how I am going to deal with. Whatever the results at the end show, I will love my daughter, nothing changes. But for her as a muslim, what will her future be??? This is what breaks my heart.

The violence makes me physically ill, it is getting worse, my husband and I are worried one day in a rage she will pick up a knife and stab me...but I can deal with this, its the fact maybe she is suffering dreadfully because she was born in the wrong body.
I wanted to share this on my blog because maybe someone out there has gone through this themselves or is going through it right now. I could do with some advice and could do with some prayers.

May Allah bless my daughter always and show us the right way to deal with this. All I want is for my daughter to be happy, to be who she should be and not so angry.
Sunday, 23 January 2011

Going Back To Dubai

I am travelling back to Dubai inshaAllah on 1st April for 3 weeks.
We will be visiting my husbands family again so I am looking forward to that a lot as I love them all so much.

Despite not loving the way Dubai and UAE had changed when I was there last summer, I hope one day I can fall in love with it again. Having family there helps a lot and maybe someday we will be back living there again.

My husband will be studying most of the trip as this is his final year at Uni and he has important projects to complete so Imane and I will be out and about hopefully with my sister-in-laws. I still know my way around the whole of UAE really well despite being back in UK these past 7 years so getting around is easy for me.

All my husbands family live virtually next door to each other. Many years ago the previous ruler of Sharjah gave my father-in-law a large piece of land and he built a huge house on it. Later the house was split into two villa's, my inlaws live in one and my brother-in-law, his wife and 5 kids live in the other. To visit you come out of one door into a hallway and into the other house.
Then later when my other brother-in-law got married he built another villa in the grounds of the land, so we are all near each other.

My brother-in-law who lives in the villa within the grounds is a well known Plastic Surgeon at Rashid Hospital. I was quite suprised when I googled his name how many articles there are on his work, so we are all very proud of him for the surgery he does on patients who have suffered greatly in fires and accidents. His work is mainly repairing damage, not for vanity.

I am currently trying to loose lots of weight. In the last 3 weeks I have lost 9 pounds and from tommorow plan to do Zumba everyday. I will not be attending classes as I work full time and do not get home until 6.30pm, going onto a class would be hard for Imane, so I purchased the Zumba DVD kit and will be Zumbering away in my Majlis lol.

Thats all my news for now, hope you all have a great week.

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Brighton, East Sussex, United Kingdom
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