Wednesday, 3 February 2010

Part Two of My Story of My Ex Husband and Suffering

At night when I got up to make a night feed for Imane (stress had caused my milk flow to be non existant) I would walk past my ex husbands bedroom and see a light under the door and hear the tap tap tap of his keyboard. I knew damn well what he was doing but I had to prove it.

One evening he accidently forgot to close his messenger as he went to play football with his fellow Morrocan work collegues. I managed to change his settings to save all his chat conversations to a history file on the computer. Each morning I would wake up when he had left for work and check his messege history.
He was chatting to all sorts of women, and telling quite a few different stories to them. Some he was proposing marraige and declaring undying love to them claiming he was single, to others he told them his wife had ran off and left him and stolen his new born baby daughter. Apart from these pathetic stories he was also asking them really disgusting things such as how they liked sex, what he would like to do to them, what he wanted them to do to him. I used to print all these conversations out as my evidence for when I decided to make my move and leave with my baby.
I still have them all now, carefully stored in a folder, so no one can ever say I imagined all of this and when Imane is older if she really wants to know the truth, she can read for herself.

The other thing he was doing was having phone sex, although I have no real proof of this as never heared any of his conversations, the phone bill while I was in hospital was over 6,000 dhs and the numbers listed were USA, France, Morroco, Germany etc. And going from some of the chat conversations it was obvious what he was doing on the phone.

Now some may well ask why the hell I stayed. Unless your actually living this nightmare you cant imagine how life actually was. Firstly my mother had just died, my father has always been an unloving man towards me and was not interested at all in helping me if I managed to fly back to UK.
My options were to just leave and return to ZERO or stay and eventually try to make a new life for myself in UAE and do my best to keep my daughter with me as the ex constantly threatened to make problems so the courts would give Imane to him. I guess I was mentally in a very bad way and when your suffering like that you do not make the right decisions.

The next bad thing to happen was my ex's mother sent his trollop of a sister Bushra to stay with us, on the pretence of her coming to take care of me and Imane. Now Bushra claims to be a good muslim yet she dresses like a street walker, goes off alone from Casablanca to Marakesh for weekends etc etc and asks men for money by dailing a random number and then talking all sweet and innocent (my ex husband actually told me she did this).
She arrived and my husband moved her into the bedroom with him, which my bestfriend and I thought was very strange.
She took over my house and did everything for my ex, while Imane and I were basically ignored. After she had been there a few weeks something happened one night to cause a big argument with my ex and I (I cant remember what started it or what it was about to be honest). At 11pm at night my ex husband taking his sisters side pushed me and Imane into the street. I was holding the baby and walking around Mussafa in my abaya when I bumped into two of his Morrocan friends. They saw me crying and one stayed with me and the other went back to our apartment to have a go at my ex. Apparently my ex told him I could go to hell and slammed the door in his face.

I then called "O" from my mobile and he told me to flag down any police car and tell them what happened and he would if necessary drive from Dubai to get me and Imane.
I saw a police 4x4 parked and went up to the two officers sitting in it and managed to explain best I could what had happened. The put Imane and I into the back and drove us to a police station (I cant remember which one but it was not in AbuDhbai city, but just outside, nearer Mussafa).
By then Imane was crying as she needed a feed so one of the police at the station managed to get some formula for her and I was then shown in to speak to the police chief of the station. I basically sobbed my heart out to him about what had happend since I met my husband. But to be honest I felt this policeman did not really believe me as he kept asking me what I had done to make my husband treat me this way. Heck most of my marraige I was either shoved off to live with phyco relatives or laying in a hospital bed for months, what kind of wrong could I have done????.
About one hour later, a police officer knocked on the door of the office I was in and standing next to him was my ex husband and his vulgar sister (who may I add had ditched the street walker clothes and donned an abaya and shayla), she began to scream like a cat saying how bad I was and my ex husband lied through his teeth and claimed I was the cheater as I knew all these local men and still talked to them (I only ever since marraige spoke to "O" as he was like family to me and I had cut contact with just about every person I had ever known in UAE from the day I married).
He then had the cheek to even claim I was a drug addict (because once in 1991 I had smoked hash while living in the UK about 12 years before I even met my ex husband).

The chief then turned to me and basically told me to respect my husband, to be a good wife and stop making problems. I was gob smacked, really shocked. We were then all told to leave. NO ONE WAS TAKING ME SERIOUSLY, I could not believe it.
So we all got in a taxi and went home.
I refused to talk to anyone for 3 days, I just kept to myself in my bedroom with Imane.
"O" wanted to help me but he was worried his name would be dragged into all this mess as he did not trust my ex husband, he promised to always be there for me but that was about it. As he was known as a VIP in UAE he was worried about his reputation hahaha.
I felt desperate and alone and really did not know what I was going to do.

About a week later, my sister-in-law was caught by my ex talking to a local guy on the phone and arranging to meet him. When questioned it appeared she was randomly dialing numbers again and finally found someone she thought she could use. A huge fight broke out between them as he explained what the police thought about single morrocan girls out alone at night with local men and he refused to let her leave the house as she was under his visa and it would make a problem for him.
She began the cat screaming again and began to pack her bags and then started screaming abuse at me as I walked into the kitchen to make milk for Imane. I total lost the plot then, I grabbed her suitcase and threw it outside the door and screamed at her that she was nothing more than a prostitute, who dressed like a 1 dh hooker and instead of looking after me she had made my life a living hell along with he cheating ass brother.
I then went into my bedroom and was standing over Imanes cot about to pick her up when she charged into my bedroom with a large knife from the kitchen and plunged at me. Luckily my ex saw her and managed to just push her has she lunged at me and the knife sliced the edge of my arm instead of going into my back.
My husband then called the police and told them his sister had tried to stab his wife and within 10 minutes we had 6 policemen in our apartment. Bushra was throwing herself on the floor screaming like a woman possessed and I remember 3 of the policemen standing there trying hard not to laugh at how pathetic she looked.
I told the police what I had called her and why I called her that and thanks god for once they believed my story and from what they saw of Bushra and her foul mouth and phyco rages they advised my husband if he wanted to press charges they would arrest her on the spot and throw her in jail for the night or he could arrange to have her sent back to Morroco as soon as possible.

I wanted her arrested but the ex decided to move her upstairs with his Morrocan friend and his wife while he arranged to have her visit visa cancelled and to book her flight home to Casablanca.
For once my ex was on my side and as he was suddenly being nice I decided to play nice too and then plot my escape out of this marraige.
Bushra was flown home about 5 days later and of course I ended up getting the blame for everything.

My ex and I got on for about a month and during this time, while he was at work I plotted how to return to UK even though I would be going back to ZERO. I contacted charities such as SHELTER and the Womens Refuge in my home town of Brighton and got lots of advice by email on what to do to register myself and my daughter as homeless.
Once I had the confidence to put my plan into action I told my ex it was better Imane and I returned to UK and then he could join us later and eventually he would get UK citizenship.
Of course he was so desperate to not return to Morroco after his contract finished that thanks God he believed me.
He bought me a one way ticket to UK and agreed to let me leave with Imane. He knew we were going back to ZERO and it did not seem to bother him at all (just shows what kind of man he is).
The night before I flew back to UK we drove down to Ajman so I could say goodbye to my best friend Fay and her local husband Jamal. I was left at Fays house while the ex went to visit a friend of his. "O" popped round to Fays as well to say goodbye to me and to tell me once I got back and divorced the ex, if I wanted to come back to UAE he would arrange everything and find us somewhere to live. "O" then shoved £400 into my hand and told me to use it to get a hotel for the first night back in UK and things for Imane. All of them knew what I was going to do when I reached UK and everyone supported my plan.

Early the next morning with 3 suitcases packed, the ex took Imane and I to the airport. As he was about to leave us as we went through security I asked him for money. As Allah is my witness, my ex husband and the father of my child who was just 6 months old at the time, refused to give me even 1 dh to buy a bottle of water. He kissed Imane on the head and walked off. If "O" had not given me that £400 then I would have been totally destitute when I arrived in UK.
As I sat waiting for our Al Etihad flight I boiled with hate, boiled with hate because in my husbands bank account that morning was a total of 8,000 dhs yet he could not even give us money to buy milk, pampers for our child or even enough to ensure we had somewhere to sleep when we arrived back in the UK (remember he did not know about the £400 "O" had given me).
My ex calmly walked off leaving his wife and baby destitute.

When the flight finally took off I just let out a great sigh of relief, finally I was free and no matter how hard things were going to be I just knew eventually we would be ok.

Part 3 in next blog post

1 comments:

Umm Ququ said...

O my gosh im speechless.
what a nasty man that ex is. ufff

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Louise
Brighton, East Sussex, United Kingdom
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