How would I sum myself up as a Muslim?
I am one of the most honest people around, I say what is in my heart, admit when I am wrong and try never to judge anyone.

First and foremost I love Allah, sometimes I talk to him in my mind when I am on the way to work, sometimes I well up with tears from love for Allah when I am apologising to him for not always being strong with my deen.
I know Allah knows everything about my life, the suffering I have been through and what drove me to stop wearing Hijab for 5 years etc and I know it was Allah that gave me my strength to overcome everything in my life and go each day forward no matter how sad I feel inside with a massive smile on my face.

I have always been known both in UAE and here in the UK for the naughty glint in my eye, my cheeky constant smile and my very very bubbly personality. Even during the black times I still kept that smile going. At work they call me Ms Double Entendre because sometimes the way I say things can be taken as quite cheeky and it makes the office double up with laughter. As an example the parks dept came to trim the bushes outside our office so I shouted through to Karen the office manager "Karen the mans here to trim your bush" I will leave it to your imagination why everyone ended up laughing.
I cant change the way I am, to think hard before I shout something out to make sure it does not have a cheeky meaning too. My personality was given to me by Allah and I refuse to change the way I was created just to please another muslim who thinks I am shameful.

Since wearing hijab after 5 years without I have got the most amazing response from my clients. I deal with people who have some major mental health issues, are racist etc etc, yet because they knew me before Hijab they accepted me the same with Hijab, just they were very suprised I was muslim because in their minds Muslim women were not cheeky, smiling, happy, bubbly, chatty people.

In Islam its supposed to be haram to be alone with a male who is not a relative, but in my job I often have to visit a male alone in his house. I was recently told by one over zelous revert that I should change my job as it was haram. Sorry at the end of the day I love my job, it has put food on my table for my child, clothed her and put a roof over her head for the past 7 years. I know my manager would let me visit women households only if I asked but I do not want to be treated differently to my work collegues, we work as part of a close knit team and I do not want special treatment. Allah knows how hard I work, knows that I do good for the people I visit especially the elderly and it is his judgement only I will accept.

My manager Jan and I were talking the other day about muslim woman being alone with a non relative male and she told me about an Asian muslim woman she managed when she was a Housing Manager in London. This woman got so much grief from the muslim Asian community for doing the job I do now, for visiting people alone in their homes, she got threats and all sorts, told she was haram, she would go to hell etc but a year of ignoring their comments and showing them she was not giving up her job to please them, these ultra conservative muslim leaders began to see the good she was doing in the community and eventually they became 100% on her side and much good was done in the predominantly muslim housing areas of London.

I live my life as a muslim, I respect myself, respect others, follow Islam as best I can but to survive I may not do things the way some muslims think I should, I do things that are true to my heart and true to what I believe is right for my life and Allah knows whatever I do is 100% from my heart and not done just to try secure a place in Jannah when my heart really did not agree and want to do it.
I hope that all makes sense to those that read.